What’s bugging you?
By now, if you’re a regular reader of this article, you know that almost any food can be broken down, remade, and come out the other side not only better for you, but also tasting better. Its not always easy. This might require going to more stores to find the right ingredients, spending more time in the kitchen crafting items from scratch, or getting a special kitchen gadget.
Why do this, some may ask. We’re all gonna die anyway, aren’t we? That’s what I get asked all the time, and if those words came out of your mouth, do me a favor and walk to your bathroom mirror, then slap the jerk you-know-what what you see there. You see, it’s not about living forever, which sounds absolutely boring and dreadful. If you don’t believe me, ask a vampire. After about 500 years, they become downright weird with boredom.
It’s not even about living longer, while not a second passed as you read this is guaranteed to anyone. It’s about getting old. It doesn’t mean getting old. It’s also just an unavoidable fact of being alive. Aging, on the other hand, is completely preventable, and it comes down to two things. How often you move or exercise is one factor, but the other, more important factor is what you eat. Dying isn’t scary, in fact, it’s pretty darn easy and anyone can and will do it.
Aging, on the other hand, is truly terrifying and is a slow and painful process. I see people my age of 48 looking down two flights of stairs as if it were Mount Everest, and already avoiding physical exertion at all costs. Now think about how they will feel at 60. Being strong and able to move is a major factor in quality of life. You don’t have to get weak and slow as you get older. All it takes is a little effort in the kitchen and the gym and you can stay fit and strong for a lifetime. It’s going to be necessary for me anyway. With my bills, I’ll only be able to miss half a day of work for my own funeral.
Waffles are a food that definitely aged me back to when I was not healthy. Belgium Pecan Waffles from a certain 24 hour restaurant, to be exact. They were as big as the hubcap of a 1965 Cadillac, and once covered with half a bottle of fake maple syrup and butter, I would need one of those fancy calculators to count all the sugar and the calories I was getting. That’s actually 549 calories and 39 grams of simple carbs for just one of these bad boys, not including the syrup. Then an hour later my blood sugar would drop and I would be hungry again.
I owe my liver and my pancreas a sincere apology for everything I put them through. They were probably whispering to each other “How much insulin does he need???” every day I was sending horrible food down my throat. The good news is that, like everything else, waffles are easily hacked and turned into a healthy, high-protein treat. You just need the right ingredients and a mini waffle maker. They are inexpensive and easy to find. Unlike some of my other recipes, this one is super easy, quick to prepare, and more versatile than a switch. There are a few basic ingredients and then the flavor profile can be anything you desire. It goes from savory to sweet and everything in between without any problems.
Chaffle recipes are all over the interwebs, just google them and you’ll have thousands of people to pick an option. However, most leave out some crucial details to keep it healthy, and one ingredient that makes any bread like food not taste flat and lifeless. These recipes never specify grass-fed dairy for cheese and butter/cream cheese if using, or pasture-raised eggs. These are key to getting the most out of getting the healthy omega-3 fatty acids needed to keep you looking young. And for taste, it’s still missing 1/8 teaspoon of sea salt, and without it, your chaffle will just taste flat and dead. It’s a real game-changer for these babies, as Spongebob says:
The recipe I have here mimics a churro. You can sprinkle it with cinnamon and melted butter, add low carb ice cream, or make Shirtless Chef Whipped Cream to top it off. Any leftovers can be frozen and reheated in a toaster just like a regular waffle. Try them and it will open up a world of possibilities. They can be salty garlic buns for a burger, plain for a sandwich, or sweet for a dessert. They will also allow you to be able to climb a flight of stairs without the help of a sherpa and a donkey, which will make your life a little easier.
2 pastured eggs, room temperature
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons of cinnamon
1/8 tsp sea salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons powdered monk fruit
112 grams (1 cup) low-water mozzarella cheese, grated
Place both eggs in a large bowl. Mix all the dry ingredients in a small bowl, and weigh your cheese in another bowl:
Whisk the eggs, then add the dry ingredients and whisk again, then stir in the cheese. Hit your mini waffle maker with a little nonstick and preheat:
When the mini machine is heated, pour just under 1/4 cup of the mixture, spread it out a bit and close the lid. I like to bake it a little longer than my waffle maker says to make it crispy, but check yours when the light goes out to see if it’s to your liking.
The mixture should make 6 chaffles in total. Place on a wire rack to cool while you make the batch:
You can then slice it and sprinkle it with cinnamon and butter, then top with ice cream:
You can also serve whole with Shirtless Chef’s Wholesome Whipped Cream and more cinnamon:
Freeze leftovers and reheat in the toaster.
Check out the list of all Shirtless Chef recipes at www.mysaline.com/shirtless.